10th St, 11th St, Broadway, 13th St... But no 12th

Mike: So which way's south?

Zan: According to the GPS it's straight ahead and according to the compass it's to our left.

Mike: Bugger. According to the direction of the sun it should be straight behind us...

Mike & Zan:

Lesson #7: A two year old without a ticket has the right to at least four times the leg room of a twenty-one year old paying customer on a Greyhound bus.

After an unexplained two hour delay in leaving Vegas we were relieved to find two seats next to each other. We were quite surprised by such a find as the bus was already at least three quarters full. There is generally enough room for an average height person to cross their legs comfortably and have a few centimeters between them and the chair in front. As we tried to squeeze into our nights accommodation we knew it was going to be a long night. The chairs in front were fifteen centimeters away. It was impossible to sit without your legs pressing into the chair in front. In normal circumstances we would have coped. However this little misfortune was made worse by two little things: 1. The chairs in front of us had at least a meter of leg room. 2. The passenger in front of us was a two year old without a ticket who's feet didn't actually make it off the edge of the seat.

After eighteen hours of traveling with our knees around our ears we eventually arrived in Denver. On the upside being unable to sleep meant that we got to see some spectacular scenery through Arizona, Utah and the Rockies.

Being warned against staying in Denver we decided to take a bus north to Boulder, home of the University of Colorado. We had our $3.75 to pay the driver but during the confusion of putting our packs in the baggage hold we ended up with a 'complimentary ticket.'

Most streets in America are arranged in a cross-hatched pattern, with streets being numbered in ascending numerical order. Theoretically it should be logical, if not easy to find a hostel on 12th St. One would assume it would be somewhere between 11th and 13th. A bus dropped us off in downtown Boulder and from here, it took 6 maps, three hours and a GPS to find our way to the hostel. We've always thought that America was a little unique, but South changed direction at least four times during our trip.

It's really strange to walk down snow-lined streets. Looking out our window we can see snow-capped mountains a few streets away.

Paris for lunch, New York for dinner...

MIKE: I'm full. Do we have to eat any more??

ZAN: We payed $23 for this buffet. You've got to eat at least another 10 prawns before we can leave!!

MIKE & ZAN:
Lesson #6: What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas...

Being careful to learn from our mistakes, we arrived at the bus station four hours before our bus was due to leave to ensure that we got seats together. We are happy to report an uneventful bus ride despite missing our connection in LA. Arriving in Vegas about as refreshed as can be expected after an 18 hour bus ride, we had a surreal 20 block walk to our hostel.

Vegas is certainly different...

Before we'd even crossed the road from the bus stop, we were asked, "Are you two married yet?" We were handed a brochure for "A Wedding Chapel by the Courthouse" and informed that if we went in the next ten minutes and mentioned his name, Elvis would perform the ceremony at no extra charge.

Making our way down Las Vegas Blvd, we came across a row of newspaper vending machines. We've made a habit of buying a newspaper in each major city we visit. Just as we went to put a quarter in the machine, we discovered that it was a 'special' Vegas paper. Cindy and Candy posed provocatively on the front cover.

Our hostel was across the road from a drive-through wedding chapel, next door to a strip club and surrounded by bail bond lenders. All in all, it was a very cheerful place with wholesome values, despite its name, "Sin City Hostel." When we checked in, we were told that the hostel had a strict single-sex dorm policy and we would have to sleep in different dorms. A bizarre contradiction considering all that we'd experienced of Vegas so far.

We spent the next day walking the 4 mile stretch of casinos along 'the strip.' 'New York New York' was a miniature replica of the streets of Manhattan complete with steam coming from the ground. The casino, "Paris" was also a replica of the city, complete with the Eiffel Tower. We got tragically lost inside "The Venetian" and just as we found the exit, we were pushed out of the way by a conga line of singing Gondoliers. Taking a tip from the hostel, we checked out the Mirage buffet where we can fairly safely say that we ate our $23 worth of crab and shrimp.

After a slow start on the slot machines, Zan won 25c. We gradually warmed up and won enough on the blackjack tables to pay for dinner.

While waiting for our bus, we checked out the old part of Vegas, the Fremont St Experience. We saw the Golden Nugget and Golden Gate casinos. Very different from the ones on the strip.

"911 what is you emergency?" - SFPD

MIKE: They say in Sydney that if you call the police and order a pizza at the same time, the pizza generally gets there first.
ZAN: How fast do you reckon San Francisco police are?
MIKE: We'll have to wait and see...

MIKE & ZAN:

Lesson #5: NEVER stay at the Sonoma Inn, San Francisco.

We awoke at the crack of dawn with plans to visit Alcatraz before the $3 morning discount expired. Just as we were about to step out the door we heard a suspicious thud, thud, thud coming from the room next door. We waited in our room a few minutes in silence. As we went for the door again we heard a rough male voice yell, "wake up..."

A few minutes and several thuds later we heard an anguished plea, "will someone call an ambulance for my girlfriend?!" Not knowing whether to call 911, and with his room between us and the exit we made an executive decision to hide in the bathtub.

We soon discovered that our bathroom may not be the safest place to hide. With each subsequent pound the bathroom wall began to crack. We soon heard a distressed woman's cries which intensified with each thud. This quickly put an end to our debate about whether to call 911. Three cop cars and an ambulance later, less than a minute after our call, we were standing on the street giving our statements to the police.

Needless to say after our little adventure we quickly checked into a lovely little hostel several streets away in an area recommended by the police officer. After a heated discussion with the receptionist at our former lodgings we eventually got our money back, not before she tried to convince us that the police had taken him away. As she was talking we could hear him yelling in the background. We were not convinced.

As we had already missed the cheap ferry to Alcatraz we decided to sooth our frazzled nerves by riding on the cable cars, our favorite thing to do in San Francisco. We made our way to Lombard Street, the world's curviest street according to a plaque on one of the houses. (see picture to come.) Then visited the cable car museum and saw the inner workings of the cable car system. We dined in style at a French jazz restaurant before heading to bed in a much calmer environment.

The following day we finally made it to Alcatraz. We took a tour of the maximum security prison and saw Al Capone's cell and heard about daring and bold escape attempts. (see picture to come)

Despite everything we really enjoyed San Francisco and found it relaxing :)

Hotel Isomnia

Mike: I've tried skydiving.
Zan: I've tried throwing myself off a cliff.
Mike: I've tried sailing through a gale in New Zealand.
Zan: I've tried micro-lighting over Victoria Falls.
Mike & Zan: But nothing beats riding a Greyhound bus for the ultimate thrill experience. For just $69.95 you will receive an uninterrupted 12 hour trip complete with a former cocaine addict, ex-con, prospective social worker, an Irish backpacker and a crazy stoned Canadian.

Mike & Zan:
Lesson #4 - a) When riding the Greyhound it is essential to arrive early to ensure that your traveling companion is not a cocaine addict. b) Avoid eye contact with serape wearing Canadians. They may think you want to be friends.

Our Greyhound adventure began at the San Clemente bus stop which was run out of the local liquor store. After purchasing a one-way ticket to San Fransisco and were on our way. Things began to get interesting after our stopover in Los Angeles. After hopping off the bus we had to chase after our bags as they were unloaded and claimed by the aforementioned cocaine addict. Once inside terminal we came across two regular greyhound travellers in the middle of a heated theological debate, "You're the devil!" "No, you're the devil!"

People begin to line up about an hour before the bus is due to leave. By the time we found the correct gate, we were already towards the back of the line. The bus left LA at 10pm and was due to arrive in San Francicso at 5:30am. We were contemplating buying a bottle of sleeping pills for the journey, but after seeing our fellow travelling companions, I think we were both relieved to be as alert as possible.

After a sleepless night, we arrive at San Francisco. It was dark, cold and wet. We sat on our packs in the bus stop until we were moved on security. Then we bagan our 14 block trek to the hotel. Although reception was not due to open for another 6 hours, we were hoping that there might at least be somewhere to leave our bags while we waited. No such luck. The doors of the hotel were barred and locked, with no sigh on life inside. We set out with fully laden packs in search of breakfast.

A bakery, a McDonald's, and a Burger King later, it was time to check-in. Paying the ballance of our bill (including an absurd amount of hotel tax), we were given a key. Jumping lose floorboards and the local rodent population, we headed up four flights of stairs to our room. The entire hotel could politely be described as a "renovators delight", or more acurately a demolition workers dream.

Our room was small, but cozy. We were both exhausted to the point of hysteria, and hopped into bed. After a few minutes, it became apparant that sleep would not be easily forthcoming. The hotel was "centrally located" next to highway 101, and we were treated to a symphony of traffic and emergency sirens punctuated with the occasional vocal interlude from passers by.

For those of you back home who received a 3am wakeup call, we're sorry. It seemed like a good idea at the time;-) We bought a 3 day public transport pass for $18 which allows unlimited travel on all city-run transport. We jumped on the next cable car and headed to Fisherman's Wharf, where we feasted on seafood and chocolate. We were both exhausted, so we decided again to brave the hotel.

Supersize everything!

MIKE: This tub of mayonnaise is bigger than you!!

ZAN: Put it in the trolley.

MIKE: I'll need a hand lifting it...

MIKE & ZAN:

Lesson #3: everything is supersized in the states. The kiddies meal at McDonald's is the same size as a large back in AUS. No wonder there are so many supersized kiddies. Shopping centers the size of warehouses carry everything from laundry detergent (see picture below) to cars. And speaking of cars, they too have been supersized so that they can cart home the supersized groceries. They take up the equivalent of two Aussie lanes. Good luck driving one of these down the Pacific Hwy.

We were picked up from Santa Monica by Bob and Betty, host parents of my (Mike's) dad when he did a student exchange year to an American high school. We spent three days relaxing and eating like kings in Dana Point, about half way between San Diego and Los Angeles.

On our last night in Dana Point, we went to Cathy and David's place (Bob and Betty's daughter and son-in-law) where we were treated to barbecue steak, the oscars, our first experience with self-service checkouts, and a ride in a 40 year old (correct us if we're wrong, David) mini. It almost felt like we were back home during our mini ride. It was a right hand drive!! And even if we were still on the wrong side of the road, we were in safe hands with David's excellent driving skills, which were put to the test when we forgot something at the market;-)

It's amazing how many things are subtly different in the states. The Pelicans are brown, the toilet flusher in on the side of the cistern, and we had to get Bob to show us how to turn on the shower. The view from Bob and Betty's apartment was amazing. It looked over the whole of Dana Point beach, and when the weather was clear, we were able to see all the way to San Diego.

LA: City of Automobiles

Mike: 2 tacos for 99cents!!
Zan: Filet-o-fish for 99cents
Mike: 6 sodas for 99cents
Zan: 99 cents store.
Mike: Does that mean we get the whole store for 99 cents?

Mike and Zan: We just spent 3 nights in Los Angeles and we think we can safely say that they are the last three nights we will ever spend there. Our hostel was conveniently located up the road from the beach, down the road from the shopping mall and right opposite the road from the cop shop. On a positive note if you can survive the freezing cold wait for the Metro ($3 for an entire day) the local bus system will take you anywhere you desire to go. Unfortunately there aren't many desirable places to visit.

We decided to embrace the culture that is LA by visiting Hollywood Boulevard. Well what can we say... the local pickpockets were out in force that day. We saw them with three wallets right before they began following us down the street. We did manage to see the GIANT Hollywood sign and snap a few pictures and follow the walk of fame but were unable to find Mann's Chinese theatre or Whoopies hair :-(

With the next day came rain and even colder weather. We hopped on a bus to Downtown LA. We saw city hall - the building used as the daily planet HQ in Superman (which was subsequently destroyed in war of the worlds), Disney hall, had lunch in the Latin quarter (even the signs to the toilet were in Spanish) before getting on another bus to Venice beach. It was dark when we got there, and although nothing was open, we managed to find a Starbucks for a warm drink.


Lesson #2 - Walking around LA we discovered 2 things: You need to look LEFT then RIGHT before crossing a road and pedestrians are not welcome. While following what we thought was the sidewalk to the Museum of Contempory Art we ended up wandering onto a six lane freeway. I think the following photo pretty well sums up LA.

Our favorite place in LA was the Santa Monica Pier. It is the home of Bubba Gump Shrimping Co., a pub that plays the Cat Empire, the Gregory Colbert nomadic museum (we highly recommend you look this up - www.ashesandsnow.com) and many lifeguard towers.

All i want to do is have some fun till the sun comes up over Santa Monica Boulevard - Sheryl Crow

Zan: This wouldn't be so hard to eat if my nose and mouth weren't so close together.
Mike: Here. I'll hold your nose.

Mike & Zan: We arrived at LAX yesterday morning expecting to be harassed by immigration and customs but were waved on through. Apparently we don't look threatening. Looking a little lost as we left the terminal, we were approached by a lady with a clipboard. Lesson #1: nothing is for free in the states. After kindly showing us where the local shuttles were, she tried to collect a "donation" for a battered women fund.

We boarded the shuttle, and as it drove away, began talking to Nicholas from Germany. Although we were moving it didn't seem like we were actually getting anywhere and it wasn't till ten minutes later that we realised that the driver was circling the block waiting for more passengers. He had the meter running the whole time. (Refer to lesson 1.)

Unfortunatley, the computers at the YHA don't accept USB drives, so we can't post any pictures yet, but be assured that there are many on the way.